Pun intended! Because the Halloween has just passed. Surely, nobody’s going to be happy when being ghosted, not even on Halloweens, but I might just have the right insight you need to see the positive side of being ghosted.
Nowadays, you may have heard of ghosting a lot online or even experienced it yourself because truth to be told, it’s really not a new thing in the dating world. But just to be sure that we are of the same understanding, let us first define…
What really is ‘ghosting’?
If you look the term in a dictionary from way way back, it denotes the ‘appearance’ of a ghost or some sort of a secondary image on a display screen or in a certain place.
But in our modern dating culture, it stands for the sudden ‘disappearance’ (no pun intended) of a certain someone from all sorts of communications and ending a personal relationship without explanation (even worse than a ghost).
Picture this as you found someone that you may consider as The Right One and you’ve sort things out to finally went out on a date.
With a few thrilling conversations and flirty exchanges that it seems nothing could go wrong you guys went on with it and then, after a date or two more. Poof!
Your partner is gone. No morning text message. No communication. Nothing.
You even tried reaching out. With no luck, the number you tried getting in touched was already out of reached.
Leaving you into questioning yourself things like…
“What in the world just happened?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
Ghosting is not a new thing, it has long been existing. In fact, one of the most unnoticed ghosting can be found even in a very old but popular fairy tale stories.
You don’t believe me?
Then what do you call of the sudden disappearance of Cinderella when the clock strikes at twelve midnight, ending her social connection with the prince, leaving him with no explanation whatsoever?
What if she didn’t left her glass slipper by accident that eventually led the prince to find her?
Ghosting at it’s finest.
It’s just that given the widely spreading social media dominance in this day and age, ghosting has become more popular online.
Besides, the growing existence of online dating applications and websites dwindles the beauty of social connections like meeting in person on a fine afternoon tea or on a nice evening dinner date.
The lack of this personal touch makes single people like us incredibly easy to come in and out of someone’s life.
“Easy come, easy go.”
Though, ghosting is more common on newly-found romance encounters, it could also happen even to those relationships that already lasted for a couple of days or even years!
Why do people ghost? You ask?
It’s just that when you get to the bottom of it, ghosting is the easiest form of rejection. It’s the easiest way out and getting away with the pressure of possible conflict and the spine-chilling “talk” or better coined as, “closure”.
It could also be a form of playing it safe or a form of escape from the fear of possible consequences like if you decided to call if off and tell it to your partner personally, you might end up going back to your words when you decide to go back to that relationship one day.
Ghosting is undeniably a lot easier than telling someone straight up that they’re just not into the relationship anymore, but it’s also one of the coward and selfish move one could ever take.
It doesn’t take account on the person being ghosted.
It’s a kind of ending a relationship that will leave you feeling confused, cause you pain and could be traumatic and paranoiac because of its complicated way of ending it.
It is open with lots of possible explanations and excuses that could make or break you and your relationship down the line. And the worse part is that you will never get the chance to know those reasons because the person who holds the answers is no longer found.
I could only imagine the wreckage one could possibly take after being ghosted.
Be that as it may, just like any other obstacles in life, be it in a brief or long relationships or even being single, the world doesn’t just give us challenges like this that we can’t cope.
Things like this can happen to us one way or another, the feeling of devastation, being denied of formal closure and being deprived from the explanations that we deserve but won’t likely get. The feeling of being rejected.
But just like any other, we can all feel this way and we all have the choice on how to deal with this and let me be the first one to tell you that this is already complicated enough and I got you, so in your part, please DON’T make it anymore complicated.
That after all that has happened, after all that has said and done, the only wise thing to do is to accept the things that has happened, good or bad as they are.
It would take time and we don’t deserve this, I know. But the sooner you accept this, the better.
This is something that we can’t control because we can’t control what others do. The only thing that we can control is our reactions towards them and it’s not what we say to them that would create a great whack, it’s what you whisper to yourself that holds greater impact.
When we come think of the bright side on all of this ghosting, it may happen for a reason and it could be a blessing in disguise. You might ask why.
The reason lies to the fact that the person who just ghosted you just spared you from going deeper into a relationship that you don’t deserve and saved you from wasting more time to spend with the wrong person.
So instead of being sorry for yourself by being ghosted, you should be thanking them as cliche as it may sound. For time is such a luxury worth spending only for the right love, for The Right One.
“Remember, you alone get to choose what matters & what doesn’t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it.”
– Marc & Angel Chernoff
Have you experienced being ghosted? How did you get through it? What is your take on Ghosting?
Please leave your comment below!